Comfort Me
by slyfox13
Summary: Sirius is kicked out of James's bed for the last time. He roams through the castle and comes upon another lonely soul. Maybe they can find comfort in each other's arms. Yaoi Sirius/Severus.
1. Chapter 1

Haylo everyone here's my new Sirius and Severus story. I love these two so much I just had to write another story with them. This idea has been itching to be written and took on a life of its own. I hope you enjoy it. On with Chapter 1! I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

Rated M to be safe

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

I shrugged on my shirt, staring at James' bare back, not believing my ears. "What did you just say?" My voice quivered despite my best efforts to keep calm.

"Lily and I are officially going out so I can't do this with you anymore." James refused to face me as he shattered my heart.

"This?" I hissed, not caring if I woke up Remus and Peter. "This was you and me being in a relationship. I don't know about you, but I wasn't just fooling around." I huddled in on myself. I wanted to curl up in ball and lay there for the rest of the night. I would not give James the satisfaction to see me that way. The moonlight that lit up the room luckily shadowed my expression.

James had the nerve to snort. I would've hexed him if I had my wand on hand unfortunately I left in my bed when I came to James's. Big mistake. "You the Gryffindor God only used me as a release like I did you. We fooled around. Nothing more. Lily and I have been seeing each other for a while, but now we're finally boyfriend and girlfriend."

I held back the burn of tears I felt welling up inside me. "So I was just another hole for you to use until you got the one you wanted," I spat. I was done. No more. James was done using me as a release for his tension and friend.

"Sirius, don't take everything so seriously," James said, but I was already out of his bed, headed for the door. "Sirius?" James called out, but I wasn't going to answer, not this time.

It was well past curfew and I didn't have the invisibility cloak. Well screw it! Not like I didn't have anything to lose. I exited the portrait, wondering around the castle. I shook my whole body in disgust. I felt used and cheap. I had the urge to change in to Padfoot and roam the Forbidden Forest. Something to clean me of this feeling. No matter how many showers I took it would take a good long while before I felt right again. My best friend since the beginning of school used me for sex until he got the girl he wanted. Huh. James should've punched me or cursed me, I'm positive it would've hurt less than my heart slowly breaking apart. It was so much more to me. Numbness overtook my body as I let my feet take me wherever. I didn't care if I ran into Filch either at least detention would get me away from James for a few days until I could construct a barrier around my heart that couldn't be penetrated by him again.

Relieving tension. What a load of crap. All the late night whispers about how much I meant to him were nothing but lies. I have the feeling I should've known something was off. He kept coming to me less and less over the past month. I honestly thought we had something good. What a fool!

I stopped abruptly when I came upon where the Room of Requirement was located. At least it would be a place to think in peace and lick my wounds. I went past it three times, needing something that would be a safe, comfortable place to find some comfort for the night. A door appeared after my third pass. I stepped inside to find a king bed decorated with green and silver with a cheerful fire warming the room, and to my surprise the lone gloomy form of Severus Snape, sitting in one of the green chairs staring in to the fire. His eyes glowed like embers as he glanced my way.

He snorted, "This night just gets worse and worse." I knew the best thing would be to leave right then, something about Snape pulled me in. Maybe it was the hurt I saw in him that reflected my own, like looking in a mirror. I closed the door behind me and sat in the chair opposite Snape. And did the one thing that shocked us both. "Are you okay?" I surprisingly wanted to know, patiently I waited for Snape to answer.

Snape examined me like I was one of his potions, weighing my sincerity, checking for deceit. I didn't mind. I deserved it. My only thoughts were we were in our seventh year and it was time to set aside old grudges. During the middle of our sixth year the Marauders and I gradually stopped picking on Snape and playing pranks. What was once fun and enjoyable seemed mean and cruel with matured eyes. After that we pretty much stayed clear of each other never acknowledging or ignoring, just moving on with our lives. This was the first time I've spoken to Snape since last year. It was quite strange to be civil to him, not bad, but really weird. It was also the first time I really looked at my enemy. Snape had grown a little bit more. I was still taller than him. His hair shined in the fire light, striking me with how soft and shiny it appeared. He must shower at night before all the potion fumes can turn in his hair in to a curtain of grease. It reached his shoulders, as he brushed it back I was struck with the sudden urge to run my fingers through it. I plastered my back to the chair, clutching the armrests to keep me in place. Knowing my impulsive nature I'd do it resulting in my immediate death. Snape's large hooked nose caught my attention. It really wasn't all that bad especially if you looked past to see the burning eyes that seemed black but were actually a dark brown. Huh, never noticed that before. I always thought they were black. Even Snape's skin seemed creamy, smooth and soft. I shook my head. Okay, I might have passed out from the shock of James's betrayal and am now having the weirdest dream ever.

Snape cleared his throat. Nope. I'm really in front of Snape, admiring, finding him attractive. The world might end right now. Especially since it didn't bother me like I thought it should have. "It's none of your business. And why are you here anyway? How did you get in?" Snape sneered at me, raising an eyebrow in question.

I shrugged. "I was looking for a place to find some comfort," I mumbled.

Snape frowned at me. I guess he was looking for the same thing because there was no other way we could have both ended up here if we didn't need the same thing. I wasn't going to point it out to Snape. He obviously didn't want to think about it. Then it hit me. James and Lily are going out. Lily was Snape's best friend. I wonder if that's why he was here. We stayed silent for a while longer. Even though not a word was spoken I felt completely at ease with Snape. The best I felt in a while.

Snape rose from his seat, going to the bed. He lifted the covers, crawling under them. His voice drifted from the bed. "Black I honestly don't care what you do now, but I'm going to bed."

An idea struck me. It was probably the worst idea I've had in long time then again I didn't care. It was worth it to explore this new attraction to Snape. I went over to the bed lifting the covers. "I'm going to sleep in here if you don't mind. I really don't want to go back to my bed." Too many memories.

Snape grunted. "I don't care."

I sat on the bed, heart pounding being this close to Snape. "I'm really going to sleep here. I'm getting in."

"Like I said before I don't care just don't touch me or I swear I'll push you off this bed without a second thought. Understood?" Snape adjusted the covers when I got under them and tucked them under my chin.

Snape's breathing evened out a lot sooner than I would have expected. He really didn't care that I was here. I found it a little harder to fall asleep. Part of it was due to the fact I was a little turned on being in the same bed as Snape. It didn't bother me at all. It was actually a nice feeling. I shifted on my side, staring at Snape's back. I wanted to cuddle up against him but I had been forewarned about touching him. I smiled the first time that night happy in the fact that I now had a new goal. Befriend Severus Snape.


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone here's Chapter 2. I hope you enjoy it! Thank for reading and reviewing. Awesome! Thank you again.I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

I woke to someone wrapped tightly around me. Snape was curled against with his head on my chest, sleeping soundly, not aware he broke his own rule. I wasn't going to call him on it. The urge to hold him was strong, I refrained. Even though I really wanted to. The whole thing with James really threw me for a loop and I didn't want to confuse this moment by making into something it's not. I lay awake for a little longer, enjoying the weight of another person on me. I always liked cuddling with people, maybe it was the dog in me. It was always wonderful to hold someone and be held. Something that was definitely lacking with James. He never wanted to snuggle after sex. I usually snuggled up with Remus, he was always very affectionate toward me. I don't know what it was, but I craved constant contact with people especially those I held dear to me. That should have been my first clue when it came to James.

We started fooling around at the end of sixth year. It started up again in seventh year. I wonder why I assumed it was something more than it really was. I shrugged. Oh, well. Not like I could do much about it now. I was not going to fight for James. There obviously was nothing to fight for. Another clue should have been us keeping it a secret even from Remus and Peter. Never a good sign when your lover wants to hide you from the world. Snape shifted in his sleep, letting out a little snore as he held me tighter. I'm not going anywhere until morning. I gave in to my urge and tentatively held Snape. He didn't knock me out of the bed that was good. My body started to respond the longer I thought about the lithe figure clutching me. I had to keep my thoughts clean. It was harder than I anticipated. The feel of the wiry muscles under all the garments made my mouth go dry and the puff of warm breath against me was driving me crazy. I prayed that Snape would break his hold on me. Then again it was so nice to hold someone who didn't want sex then kicked me out of their bed. James wasn't the first person who did that to me, hopefully he'd be the last. No I'd make certain he was the last. He may my best friend, still not sure if its former best friend, but he was a prick.

I was able to fall asleep faster now that I was holding someone. The fact that it was Snape made it that much better. Who would've thought I ever think that.

A sharp intake of breath was the first thing that sort of woke me up, falling off the bed or more accurately being kicked off the bed, really woke up me. I hit the floor with a soft thump. Snape peered over the edge of the bed, glaring at me. I grinned up at him. He must know he was the one who touched me. I chuckled as I gathered my slightly sore body, stretched. Raising my hands over my head. My shirt lifted up a little revealing a bit of my belly. What really stunned me was the appreciative look I got from Snape. I looked the other way, feeling the color rise in my cheeks. What the hell? Why am I blushing? James looked at me all the time and I never blushed once. And for some reason I thought Snape liked girls. I was positive he was in love with Lily. Isn't that why he came here last night? My head spun with all the questions in my head, time to leave while I still I could without making a fool out of myself.

Before Snape could say anything I was out the door with a wave. "See you later in Potions," I said as I high tailed it back to my dorm for a quick shower and change of clothes. I found that I smelled like Snape and was a little reluctant to wash away the small trace of him that I had left. Really weird I know. No one would believe me if I told I spent the night with Snape. It was my secret to keep. No way was I telling anyone. Not because I was embarrassed. It felt like it was a special moment that needed to be preserved. Only Snape and I would know. I knew for a fact he wouldn't tell anyone, his reason would probably be more out of embarrassment. That was fine. The whole night was two strangers sharing different wounds and maybe healing a little knowing that you're not the only one in pain. I might have been wrong about Snape's pain. I wasn't sure, but I do know he was hurt and sad for some reason. I hoped I helped a little. He certainly helped me. Snape unknowingly helped me take a step away from the crushing pain James bestowed on me last night. For that I was grateful.

I arrived at my dorm to find everyone gone. Thank Merlin. I managed to shower and change in record time. I made it down to breakfast and ate a plate full of food by the time the Mauraders finished their first plate. All eyes were on me as I stacked my plate with more food. I was super hungry. All the stress was weighing on me. I forgot that James was going to be at the table. Not only that, Lily held his hand, whispering in his ear, that didn't stop James from staring at me. _Pay attention to your girlfriend. _I pleaded. A stab of hurt hit my heart when he deliberately wrapped his arm around her, bringing Lily closer to him. Suddenly all the food in my stomach didn't feel so good. I was saved by Remus who whispered in my ear, gaining the attention of James. Why did he care anyway?

"Are you okay? I thought you and James were together?" Remus pressed his forehead against mine. I relaxed, bringing us closer together. Too bad I couldn't have fallen for Remus. He was the best. It was probably for the best that I didn't. The burning gaze of Snape caught my attention as I pulled away from Remus to answer him. Snape glared at me and so did James. What was up with everyone today? I ignored James's glare. Instead I smiled at Snape. He appeared taken aback. He nodded at me after a long moment. I startled him out of his famous glare. It was cute when he was confused. Wow, another strange thought. It fit though.

I pressed my lips close to Remus's ear to insure he was the only one who heard me. "How did you know?"

He peered at me with luminous amber eyes. "Really Pads? I'm a werewolf. I could smell you guys on each other, but lately James has smelled well like Lily and now you smell like…." Remus shook his head, eyes widening. The hair on the back of my neck stood on end. He knew. He smelled Snape on me. I wasn't going to say anything just yet, waiting for his reaction. Remus shook his head. "I must be mistaken."

I sighed in relief, staying close to Remus. He made me feel better. Always has. "He broke it off last night," My body trembled a little. The force of what James did finally taking over. I thought he loved me and now he was flaunting his new love with Lily. I only hoped he treated her better than he did me. She was off to a better start since he was open about their relationship. It felt like he flung my love back in my face saying it wasn't good enough. I got up from the table and left with my bag hitting my hip. I rushed to the Potions classroom to find people already lining up. Damn. James was normally my partner. I slumped against the wall, not noticing anything, trying to push all my feelings down in the deepest, darkest part of my heart. I failed. My emotions were always right on the surface. I'd be lucky if I got through the day without kicking James's arse. There had to be some way to at least be civil to him. I'd have to dig hard to keep that façade up.

"You know Black if you keep thinking so hard you might hurt yourself? Sprain your brain or something." A dark velvety voice next to me said. I looked in to the dark eyes of Snape. His lips titled up the tiniest bit. My heart slammed against my chest. I was at a loss for words. Snape was talking to me. In public. In front of people. He cocked his head to the side. "Speechless I see. I bet this is the first time that's ever happened to you. You always have something to say." Snape turned on his heel, fed up with waiting for my response. Snape got the last word in. That would be the first and last time. It gave me hope that maybe befriending him wouldn't crash and burn. The students started to go in to class. I stayed behind even when Remus and Peter went inside. They always partnered together. That left me with no one.

I moved rigidly in to the classroom, scanning the room for someone who needed a partner then my eyes landed on the very snuggly back of one Severus Snape. Found one. He was at the front of the classroom, setting up his station. Time to shock him.

"Heya partner what do you want me to do?" I looked expectantly at Snape. He gazed at me like he did the night before. He sighed heavily, not believing this was happening.

"Gather all the ingredients that Professor Slughorn has written on the board." Snape went back to put _our _station together.

I saluted him, grinning. This was fun. "You got it."

I went to get what we needed when Snape called over his shoulder. "Black this is only a trial run. If you mess up one thing you can find yourself another partner."

I bounded to the pantry with all the ingredients, smiling happily when a shadow fell over me. "What are you doing with Snape?" James growled from behind me.

I turned around to find him glaring daggers at me. Anger roared through my veins. He had no right to ask me such questions. "What's it to you?" I fired back. James's bright eyes rounded at my question. He obviously didn't think I'd fight back. I was ready for anything he shot at me. Friend or not I was not going to be anyone's stepping stone anymore.


	3. Chapter 3

Here is Chapter 3. I hope you enjoy it! Thank you to all the readers and reviewers. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. You guys are the best! I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

James and I had a staring contest. Backing down wasn't something he often did. Now I knew how annoying it could be to be on the receiving end of his constant attention. I heaved a sigh. I tapped my foot, arms crossed over my chest. No more staring. I turned my back on James, opting to gather all the ingredients before Snape thought I ran off or got lost. I smiled at the thought. Snape's lips were probably pulled down in snarl, drumming his fingers against the table top. Classic Snape.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to ruminate about my potions partner thanks to James taking my hand, tugging me away from the shelves of ingredients. "You'll be my partner. Lily said she'd be with Snape."

I stood there for a second, contemplating James's words and actions. For some unknown reason he couldn't or wouldn't leave me alone. Was it too much to ask for some time to myself? I might be able to continue my friendship with James if he left me alone for a while. That wasn't going to happen while he tried to stay a permanent part of my life. Gently I extracted my hand from James's grasp. He looked at me sharply. "Sirius, no matter what you're still my best friend. Being around Snape is…"

Snape interrupted James before he could continue. "Is what Potter?" Snape asked, calmly. He glided into the room plucking everything we needed from the shelves quickly. "Black, next time do not be distracted by," Snape's eyes ran over James, lip curling in distaste, "anything that affects the timing of a potion. I will not tolerate such things. Understand?" I grinned. I liked when Snape got all huffy, now it was definitely for different reasons. I held out my hands, Snape handed over some of the ingredients all the while James watched on with narrowed eyes, his hair flopping in to his eyes. I used to think it was adorable when his hair did that. I wanted to smack myself for ever thinking that. It would have been fine if we were actually in a relationship, but now I'm at a loss with how to deal with all the swirling emotions in me. I shook my head, clearing it of all thoughts. I could think about everything later. It was time to brew a potion.

I shrugged off the way James was watching me and Snape. He'd just have to get used to it. Snape was my partner.

I followed Snape back to our table. I set down the ingredients, taking a shaky breath. Snape eyed me for a moment before asking, "Black, are you okay?" My body stiffened with the concern layered in Snape's smooth voice. His dark eyes studied me, never missing a single detail as he picked apart my every movement and gesture. Eventually he turned his focus on the potion, giving me time to answer him.

I coughed in my hand, running a hand through my hair. It fell around my face shielding me from Snape's knowing eyes. "Why do you ask?" I countered. My heart raced a little as Snape pinned me with a hard look. I started chopping the lizard tail Snape handed me. He made sure I was doing it right before moving on to the salamander eggs.

Snape put the eggs in the cauldron, stirring eight times counter-clockwise. He lifted his eyes to meet mine. A strange electric current arced between us. My breath caught in my throat as Snape cleared his. "Because you were shaking standing next to Potter." Oh. I guess, I was more stressed out about everything than I originally thought I was. "Is Potter the reason you went to the Room of Requirement last night?"

I shot a look around the classroom. Everyone was occupied with their potions, still not the place I wanted to talk about what transpired between James and I. "I'd rather not talk about it right now. Maybe later."

Snape nodded, letting the matter drop for which I was very grateful. We worked in silence for the rest of the period. Snape appeared pleased with my potion making skills. I think he was just glad nothing blew up.

"You did well today Black," Snape said next to my ear. The warm wash of his breath over my ear made my body shiver. Certain body parts started to take an interest, as my heart rate accelerated and my cheeks warmed. What was happening?

Snape smirked as he pulled away. Oh, my Merlin he knew the sort affect he had on me. Was that good or bad? Well, no one else made me blush or my heart stutter with just a whisper. That was what I've been looking for. A simple glance from the person I like that turns my knees to jelly. A murmured word that makes my body react. Such simple acts that make my blood pound and pool in my groin. No one has ever had that power over me. Now I come to find Snape holds that power. Being his friend may prove to be difficult if I got hard for him every time I was with him. There was always my right hand to take care of matters if it got too bad.

Snape took our potion to the front of the class while I cleaned up the table. I waved goodbye to Snape when I was done. He waved back a little reluctantly. His shoulders hunched as he bent to gather his things. I caught up to Remus, glancing over my shoulder. I wonder if he was upset. Did he want me to stay and walk out with him? I scoffed. Yeah right. Snape and I may be on better terms but I doubt he viewed me as a friend. Maybe an acquaintance. I would move up to a friend though or maybe something more.

Remus bumped shoulders with me. "What's got you smiling so big?" Remus looked back at the classroom. He grinned. "No way. It's Snape. I'm glad you're moving on from James. Since he had so many girls he was seeing even while he was seeing you and Lily." Remus kept talking as I stopped in my tracks. His voice became a constant buzz as the words penetrated my brain. James saw other girls. I leaned against the wall for support. Suddenly all my limbs became heavy and useless. How long? The world spun as my breakfast had the urge to come up and meet the ground. I covered my mouth and rushed back to the Potions classroom. I bypassed Snape who was leaving as I entered. I found the wastebasket, emptying the contents of my stomach. I found support for my weakened body in the warm body that surrounded my back, rubbing it in soothing circles. A hand pressed something to my lips, I tipped my head back not questioning what they were giving me.

Snape came in to my line of view. He peered in the trash can, grimacing at what he found. "The potion I gave should settle your stomach." Snape steered me to a seat, taking the one next to it. He put his hand on my arm. He lifted my chin with his index finger. "Now do you want to tell what's going on?" Snape seemed sincere in his concern. I shook my head. Not yet. I wasn't ready to tell anyone.

Bile rose in my throat thinking about James with all those girls. How many? Did he sleep with all of them? I put a hand on my headache, hoping to curb the oncoming headache. Snape pressed another vial in my hand. I looked up, brushing my hair behind my ears.

"Take this for the headache. It will prevent it from happening." I took the offered potion with a small smile. I chugged the potion, not wanting to feel the headache at all.

"Thank you," I whispered.

"No thanks are needed." Snape looked away. His cheeks turned a lovely shade of pink the longer I looked at him. He was being bashful. It was so cute. Seeing Snape melted away all the yucky feelings that invaded me. I stood and closed the gap between us. I held my arms open, giving Snape ample opportunity to flee, he didn't move. I wrapped him in a big warm hug. A spark of heat flared in my lower belly. Snape's lean body molded against my beautifully. The smell of soap and sweat made me light headed. My prick started to take notice. A moment went by before I noticed that Snape held me too. My mind went reeling the longer we held each other. I pulled away when James burst through the door.

"Sirius, what happened? Are you okay? Remus said he thought you might be sick." James rushed to me effectively pulling me away from a stunned Snape. He turned his body away from me and James, making me think I wasn't the only turned on. That was a little mind boggling to think about. I distanced myself from James, who frowned at my actions.

"I'm fine James. Now if you'll excuse me Snape and I have a class to get to." I grabbed Snape's hand, not caring what James thought. "Let's go." To my surprise Snape let me. A stab of guilt hit me for leaving James hanging. He was obviously worried about me. I couldn't be around him at the moment. Not with the new information I obtained about all the people he had been seeing.

I must be really blind not seeing it happening around me. How could I not? Love really is blind. James really had no intention of having any sort of relationship with me other than what he could find between the sheets. Then what have I been doing the last few months with him. What was the point? The past few months felt like a waste. My feelings meant nothing to James. I'm not saying it was his fault at least not all of it. I should have seen the signs that were posted in front of me from the beginning. I hoped with all my heart that Lily was his one and only person now. A memory from the night before hit me. As I was putting on my clothes James had said that him and Lily were officially going out. That meant he cheated on her with me or was it the other way since I thought we were in a relationship. I held my head. Too much. My stomach roiled. I pushed all thoughts to the back of my mind focusing on the warmth of the hand I was holding. I glanced back at Snape. He was an anchor for all the turmoil. It was easier to deal with him there. I calmed down, not letting all my worries bog me down. Although this was not over. James and I would have a serious discussion on how to treat people especially a loved one. He'd get an earful out of me. I wanted to make sure I didn't throw up all over him the next time I saw him though. Tonight would not be spent in the dorm. I was going elsewhere to sleep. Room of Requirement here I come.

Snape and I got out of the dungeons when he took back his hand. He stopped me, turning me to face him. I looked down at him, he bit his lower lip, eyes scraping the floor. He glanced up, teeth clenched. "How long were you with Potter?" The question blew me away. Snape really saw everything.

I straightened my shoulders. "Why do you care?" I fired back. This discussion was going to happen now whether I liked it or not and I wanted to know why it mattered to Snape.

I waited for Snape's answer. His brow furrowed. "Isn't it obvious." With that vague response Snape went to his next class leaving me to ponder his answer if you could call it one. Was it obvious? I didn't think so. Maybe I could get the answer later tonight. Only one way to find out. I was going back to the Room of Requirement with a mission.


	4. Chapter 4

Inspiration has struck again here's Chapter 4. Everyone is so wonderful thank you reading and reviewing. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

_Italic part is note passing between Sirius and James_

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

I made it to Defense of the Dark Arts with seconds to spare. I scanned the room to find that the only available seat was next to James. How the hell did he get here so fast? He must've run. I walked at a leisurely pace. My stomach tightened in knots as I moved to sit next to James. He peeked at me then turned his attention back to the lesson the Professor began. I took out my quill and parchment, concentrating as much as I could with James sitting next to me. I ignored him as best as I could. That planned failed. James had my full attention when he passed me a note.

_Are you okay?-Prongs._

I rolled my eyes, not wanting to participate. I pushed the note away, briefly coming in to contact with James's hand. His eyes met mine for second something flashed in his a certain want I was familiar with. I pulled my hand away abruptly, startling him. James frowned as he pushed the parchment toward me again. I shook my head, trying to listen to the lecture. The professor's voice droned on and on. I didn't glean anything from what he was talking about. Damn James. He had me all flustered. All the new information about him floated to the forefront of my mind. Anger lit a fire in my veins. I grabbed the paper, wrinkling it with my grip. Forget about the lecture. Remus would let me barrow his notes if I had to. Before I started writing a pair of eyes burned the back of my skull. Ah, Snape. Of course he had to see what I was doing. I wanted to clear up something's up. I already knew James and I had to discuss everything. I sighed. It'd be better if we talked about it. Some of the fuel that fired me up dwindled. I wrote a quick response.

_I'm fine. Now focus on the lesson.-Padfoot._

_You're obviously mad about something. And you were sick that adds up to not being fine.-Prongs._

_Are you serious? Do you not remember last night, you prick?-Padfoot._

_I thought you needed let off some steam. You don't have to hang with Snape anymore.-Prongs._

_It's none of your business who I hang out with. And no I didn't let off some steam. I might be pissed at you till the end of all time.-Padfoot._

_Isn't that a little extreme?-Prongs._

_Do you think it'd be extreme if I put my foot up your arse? I'm serious James give me some time and space. I mean it. I can't deal with you right now. I might hex you. Don't think I'm kidding because I'm not. You broke…-Padfoot._

_What Pads?-Prongs._

_Nothing. Listen, you and I need to talk. Meet me in the empty classroom across from the Charm classroom tomorrow before lunch.-Padfoot._

_Okay, I'll be there.-Prongs._

James seemed pleased as the class wrapped up. If he thought our little note passing went well he was wrong. I'd talk to him tomorrow about some key things. Today wasn't right. There was no way I could be in the same room any longer than I had to be at the moment. I might punch him. The idea held a lot appeal. The class let out and I was gone. I walked as fast as I could to Gryfinndor tower. Lunch started without me as I packed my bag with some pajamas and other things for my over night stay in the Room of Requirement. Even if Snape was a no show I was going no matter what.

The rest of the day passed with ease, James spent all his time with Lily. Seeing them together made my chest constrict. Not for the loss of James more for the fact that Lily and I were duped. That was the first thing I was going to bring up tomorrow. James should tell Lily. It did no one any good starting a relationship with a lie. A small Slytherin part of me wanted to tell James if he didn't tell Lily I would. I squashed that part. Forcing someone to do something like that wasn't very Gryfinndor like.

I sat in the library pretending to do my homework. It was all a show for Remus. Relinquishing my anguishing thoughts turned out to be harder than I thought. The longer I thought about what James did the more I realized I was more disappointed in what my best friend did than him actually cheating on me and being with all the other girls. James cheating was a hard idea to grasp. Not on me necessarily but on Lily. She's been his main focus for most of our years at Hogwarts. When he came to me sixth year and we started sleeping together I was baffled that he was paying a lot attention to me granted it was only in the bedroom, now that I think about it. If he and Lily were together why did he come to me one last time? I ran a hand through my hair, making it go everywhere. My hair was nearly shoulder length. It drove me bonkers most of the time. I was too lazy to get it cut. The way James was acting bewildered me. I only hoped I got some answers tomorrow.

Remus came back to the table laden with books. He set down the books, taking the chair across from me. He folded his hands on the table, gazing at me with soft amber eyes. He reached across the table and took one of my hands in his. He looked so sad even for Remus. "I'm so sorry Padfoot. I honestly thought you knew about James and the other girls he dated. I didn't mean to make you sick." I got out of my seat and hugged Moony tightly.

I pulled away, sitting back down and holding his hand gently. "You have nothing to apologize for." I thought for a moment then decided to ask one of the questions that plagued me. "How did you know that James was seeing all those other girls?" I grabbed one of the books from the pile, sending dust everywhere. I sneezed a few times in rapid succession, barely able to blink, making Remus smile. That was what I wanted to see. I grinned at Remus. I loved to see him smile, really smile. Most of the time it seemed his smiles were tinged with a hint of sadness.

A movement out of the corner of my eye grabbed my attention. I turned slightly, finding Snape blatantly staring at me and Remus. He titled his head to the side as he contemplated us. He bit his bottom lip, arms crossed over his chest. My heart hammered against my chest as I imagined biting him bottom lip making him moan. I almost flew out of my chair to try it. Perhaps it was a little too soon to do that. Snape and I weren't even on a first name basis much less friends. Just because he let me share his bed and be his lab partner didn't mean anything. I smacked my head with my hand. Of course it did. Severus Snape barely let anyone touch him, not even by accident. Why did Snape care? The answer was out of reach.

He didn't notice me watching him. His long frame leaned against one of the bookshelves. Snape tried to be sneaky by pretending to read while staring at me. I wouldn't have notice except his stare was hard to ignore. When his eyes were on me I knew it. I found it a little strange that I could do that, but it probably came from years of being rivals and enemies. Snape seemed thoughtful as he put the book back, my guess would be in a random spot, as he turned to leave. I wonder why he was watching me. All I knew was that I stared after him for a moment. Remus talking brought me back to the discussion I was having.

"Pads? You still here with me or is your imagination doing some unspeakable things to Snape?" Remus's eyes twinkled with mirth. He let go of my hand as he packed some of the books in his book bag.

"First of all Moony my mind is pure and innocent. It doesn't think of all the dirty things yours does." I smirked. Remus pushed my shoulder, laughing.

Remus stood up and I followed lugging the rest of his books. A report was due in Defense Against the Dark Arts in the next few weeks and Remus was starting earlier. Procrastination here I come. My report would get done at a slower pace. I did really well in school. The longer I waited to do something the better I usually did. Deadlines were real motivators especially when you only had two or three days to do it.

Remus and I left the library with our heavy load. The mood became a little more somber. Here it comes. Remus cleared his throat a few times. The words stuck in his throat. "James never told me he was seeing other girls but I saw him at Hogsmeade and when you were occupied with doing something. It always seemed to be when you wouldn't notice. When you are in to something all your focus stays on whatever you're doing. If it's any constellation I'm one hundred percent sure he never slept with them. Well almost. I'm sure I would've smelled sex on him. The only person connected to that smell has been you."

I tried to process that bit of information. I stored it away for tomorrow. Only James could provide definitive answers.

"Thank you for telling me."

"You going to be alright?"

I nodded. "I will be. The wound is still too fresh though. I'm going to head out." I walked Remus all the way to the portrait.

Remus pouted. He knew what that did to me. It was hard to say no to. He even added puppy dog eyes. Those eyes tugged hard at my heart strings almost convincing me to stay. Almost. "You don't have to exile yourself."

"I know, but I want to be somewhere else right now." Remus held out his arms for the books. I gave them to him, making sure he could hold them all.

"Are you going to tell me where you're staying? I won't tell James."

"No, not yet. Have a good night and I'll see you tomorrow." I hugged Remus good bye as the portrait opened I saw a glimpse of James hugging Lily. He glanced at me as Remus stepped through. I averted my gaze. James moved to come after me but Lily hugged him tighter. I took off running just in case James came after to me. I was extremely happy I packed some over night clothes for tonight.

I made it to the Room of Requirement at around eight, praying and hoping Snape was there. I thought about what I needed, thinking only of Snape. He was my first thought for some reason. The door appeared and I walked through it to find Snape changing in to his pajamas. His back to me. He had creamy white skin that begged to marred with bites and nail marks. His shoulders were broad and wide, leading down to a narrow waist. My mouth dried as Snape looked over his shoulder, eyes narrowed and accusing.

"What are you staring at?" Snape asked. It was a valid question. I had no answer. My world titled on its axis as my cock jumped at the heated look Snape gave me. I read hunger and want in his stare or was that my imagination. Who cares! Everything was turned around, but I found I didn't care. I dropped my bag, closed the distance between us and kissed Snape. His warm chest met mine and the world exploded as his tongue glided over my bottom lip. It was all so new and exciting and maybe just a little crazy.


	5. Chapter 5

Hey awesome peoples here's Chapter 5. Thank you so much for everything. You guys are so wonderful! And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

The taste of Snape was what I'd associate with heaven. There was no other description for it. It was pure Snape. I opened up for Snape, letting him set the pace. His tongue touched mine and I moaned as I hugged him closer to me, enjoying his warmth. I splayed my hand against Snape's back, following the curve of his spine with my hands. Snape shuddered as my hands got closer to his butt. Snape pushed hard against me, I gasped in his mouth as our hard lengths met in delicious friction. I pulled away from Snape, leaning my forehead against his bare shoulder as I bucked against him. His moans were music to my ears. He was so responsive. I wondered how much more vocal he could be. My hands traveled lowered, skimming the tops of his trousers. Snape gently extracted himself from my hold, pupils blown as he stared at me. He wanted more, but then why did he pull away?

Snape licked his swollen lips, making them glisten in the firelight. My arousal felt like a kick to the gut as it was amped up a little more. "Before we go any further I think we need to clear up something's."

I shook my head, trying to clear it of all my lustful thoughts and the better uses I could think of for Snape's mouth. I stepped forward, reaching for Snape. He stepped back, eyes lowering to the ground. "Black, no." That stopped me in my tracks. I chewed on my bottom lip, nervousness invading my stomach.

"Don't you want me?"

Snape's whipped his head, eyes flashing. He started laughing. A brick landed in my stomach as I turned to grab my bag and leave. It was all for fun. I should've known better. How could Snape ever want to be with me in any capacity? Even though I just shared the best kiss of my life with him, it didn't mean anything at least not to him. _I will not be played again. By anyone. _

Snape touched my shoulder, effectively stopping my get away. "What?" I crossed my arms over my chest, hoping it could somehow shield my heart from further hurt. Snape led me to the two chairs in front of the fire. Tonight there were positioned right next to each other and one was Gryfinndor red. I took in the chair and the rest of the room. It took on the color scheme of red and green. It looked like Christmas. Snape made it to where we both would be comfortable. I glanced at him as we took seats next to each other.

"Black you need to stop jumping to conclusions." Snape sniffed, frowning as he took in my small smile. I gestured for him to continue. "If you must know I do want you. I'd be insane not to want you."

My brow scrunched up in confusion. "Why?" I asked, completely baffled.

Snape rolled his eyes at me. "Seriously?"

I looked from side to side. "Uh, yeah. What are you talking about?" Snape took my hands in his, scooting to the edge of his seat.

"Black you have no idea what a powerful presence you are. In a way you're like the sun. Everyone wants to be warmed by your rays. Your attention whether good or bad is wanted." Snape wrinkled his nose in the cutest way. He started tapping his foot fast, leg bouncing, as he thought about what he wanted to say. "I think that's why Potter wants you back. He realized what an important part of his world you were and now you're gone. Essentially he lost the sun." I sat in the chair stunned. Snape's warm grip made me feel good, sending small tendrils of electricity through our connected hands. Snape viewed me as the sun? And he thought James wanted me back? "In essence yes I want you. I'd be a fool not to."

"You view me as the sun?"

Snape nodded, releasing our hands, sitting back in the chair. "Yes. In your group Potter may be seen as the leader, but it's you people gravitate to. People always want to be around you. Haven't you noticed? You're incredibly beautiful inside and out."

I shrugged. "I always thought people wanted to be around James because of his charisma. It's hard to resist."

"No it's not."

I laughed at Snape's scowl. He never liked James. "I guess you either like it or don't."

"Is that what drew you to him? His charisma?" Snape whispered. He looked so small despite his lanky body. He seemed scared of what I might say.

"You mean as more than a friend?" Snape nodded, he picked at a string on his trousers. It struck me again that he was still topless. My mouth watered as I tried to concentrate on the conversation at hand. "Probably. I don't know it just seemed to happen." I didn't want to talk about it yet.

"And now?"

"You couldn't pay me to be with him. Not like that. What about you? Lily's the reason you came here right? Because she's dating James?"

Snape seemed satisfied with my answer. He took a moment to answer my question. "You seem to have some preconceived notions about how I feel about Lily. Yes I did come here because Lily's dating Potter. Ask what you want to."

Snape's eagerness to answer my questions surprised me. Might as well go for it while he wanted to answer. "Do you love Lily?" I didn't know why asked that question.

"Yes, I love Lily very much." Knew it. I wanted to sink in to the chair. Snape might like me, but how could I compete with love. Love was tough to beat. Snape's voice broke through my thoughts. "You seem confused with that fact that I love Lily, but I'm not _in _love with her."

"You're not in love with her?"

Snape sighed heavily, sitting up straighter in his seat. "Black, must I repeat myself. No I'm not in love with Lily. I just find it upsetting that she chose Potter in the end. She can do so much better. No offense."

"None taken." At one time that comment might have me defending my friend, but how could I dispute in when it was the truth. "Then where does that leave us?"

"What brought you here last night?"

"I have to talk something's over with James tomorrow before I say anything."

"Are you still in love with Potter?" Snape looked directly at me. My heart beat at the intensity of his stare. His dark eyes read every emotion I had and it scared me and fascinated me. I wanted more.

"No. If you must know my history I've slept with two girls and one boy. I might've dated a lot, but I was only with people I truly liked." Even if some used me and tossed me aside like an old pair of shoes.

Snape stifled a laugh behind his hand. The sound went straight to my groin. I've never heard him laugh before, not a true genuine laugh. It was very nice to hear and I hoped to hear more in the future. I calmed myself down. I had a feeling Snape wouldn't want to continue from where we left off. "Thanks but I didn't ask."

Curiosity got the better of me. I had to ask. "Was I your first kiss?" For some strange reason I was keeping my fingers crossed that I was.

Snape shook his head, his hair cascading around his face. Once again it was shiny and clean. I wanted so badly to run my fingers through it. I refrained from doing it. "No, you weren't. Lily was my first kiss." My heart crashed in to my ribs. Snape must've seen my panic, he held up his hands. "It happened when we were thirteen. I thought I was in love with her and wanted to confirm it and we kissed. It was very nice, but not much more. You're my second kiss and ours was something out of this world." I colored at the description. I felt the same.

"Should we head to bed?"

"Yes," Snape said. He pointed at me. "But no funny business."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. Now come on we have a long day tomorrow."

Snape and I changed in to our pajamas and got in bed. I slid in to bed, staying on my side, not wanting to make Snape feel uncomfortable. He seemed to have other ideas. Snape slid over to my side of the bed back to me. I took the hint and held him. Snape put out all the other lights in the room except for the low burning fire. His warm, solid body fit against mine perfectly. I held him tight, breathing in his scent. Merlin, my body was going haywire. If Snape felt my arousal he didn't say anything.

"Hey Severus?"

"Did you just call me by my first name?" Severus sounded shocked. It sounded right saying and thinking it.

I chuckled lightly. "We just swapped spit. I think that puts us on a first name basis." Severus snorted. He let it be, not complaining about me calling him Severus. I was thrilled. Severus and I were taking another step further. I contemplated telling him about seeing James tomorrow and finally decided it was best to tell him. Severus would know the whole story soon. I wanted to give James a chance to tell Lily. I knew as soon as I told Severus he'd tell Lily. James deserved a chance to tell her. "I'm meeting James tomorrow before lunch to talk about what happened between us and some other stuff that has been brought to light."

Severus breathed deeply, holding his breath for a few seconds then exhaling his body relaxing further in to mine. "Are you going to be okay? You went through a lot today and from what little I know it was all Potter's fault." My heart beat a little faster. Severus's concern for me warmed my heart. I kissed the top of his head. Severus snuggled closer to me, rubbing his arse against my prick. I held back groan. My body was on fire for the man in my arms. It would be that much better when we could be together. If that was what Severus wanted. I knew that was what I wanted. He made me feel things that I thought were lost on me. What I had with James or anybody else was nothing like this. I fell asleep with a smile on my face.

The next morning Severus and I woke each doing our morning routine. There was a shower in the Room of Requirement, something I missed when I entered the room last night. Severus thought of everything we needed. We showered quickly and went our separate ways promising to be back later in the evening for a game of Wizards Chess. Severus had no idea what he was getting into challenging me to a game. It didn't surprise me that we both would be back in the Room of Requirement. It was comforting to know Severus would be waiting for me later today. I'd see him in the classes we shared. There was something special about the time in our own little world.

The day wore down to lunch where I found myself in an empty classroom, waiting for James. James rushed in to the room winded, hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. He stood up, face flushed, sweat making his unruly hair stick to his forehead.

"Where the heck were you running from?"

James sucked in large breath, gulping it down. "Walked Lily to the Great Hall then I ran all the way here." James held his out from his sides. "So what do you want to talk about?" James smirked and I had the urge to hex him.

"What?" I asked, not really liking the way he eyed me.

"You want me back. If that's what you want then you have to stop trying to make me jealous."

Scratch hexing him I'd punch. "No I don't. Believe me when I say I never want to be with you again," I yelled, huffing and puffing. How could he think I'd want to be with him again? "And James you're with Lily."

James glared at me, sitting on the top of one of the tables. "I know that. I need you too."

I glanced behind me, not sure James was talking to me. "What do you need from me?"

"Sirius I need you. I know I made a big mistake, but I need you."

"But you have a girlfriend."

"Yes. This might sound weird, but I figured out that I need both of you. I care about you in different ways." James was serious. This was no laughing matter. Suddenly all that I wanted to say escaped me. James said he needed me. He seemed sincere.

I sat next to him on the table. "James that was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about. You need to tell Lily you cheated on her."

"Or what? Are you going to tell her?"

"If you give me no other option then yes, but she has the right to know. From what you're telling me it sounds like you need two people to make you happy. I'm not saying I completely understand but I can't be one of them. I need only one person." Severus.

"Who?"

"None of your business."

"Sirius do you really not love me anymore?" James asked with big wide eyes. That trick only worked when Remus did it.

"No I don't."

"So you're not trying to get me back with threatening me about Lily?"

"No. I'd never do something like that. You know all I ever wanted was for you to happy. Why you had to be with everyone girl in the world I'll never understand though."

James looked taken aback that I knew that. "I was trying to find what I needed. None of those other girls meant anything. And you're the only person I was sleeping with." That shocked me. I wonder why just me. "The only people that made me feel anything about them was you and Lily but in different ways."

"Why didn't you tell me you were going out with Lily too?"

"I honestly thought you knew. What did you think I was doing when I hung out with her so much?"

Sadness welled up in me. If only James had been straight with me. "I thought you were friends, not going out."

"Seriously?" James peered at me, pushing his glasses up his nose. His eyes softened. "Sirius I really do care about you and when everything ended I realized just how much. To be honest I can't choose between you and Lily. You both complete me in a way that makes me whole."

"James don't you see you already made your choice and she is an amazing person. She might understand your reasons for cheating." This whole conversation was confusing me. How could someone not know who they wanted to be with? Was it possible to love two people at the same time and not be able to choose? The idea was a little baffling. I didn't know if you could call it love, but I knew who I wanted to be with and he was in the Great Hall.

I looked in to James' eyes, honestly wishing for his happiness. For him to find that one person that could be with him. "James I'm not the person that can make you whole. I think you know that or you would've chosen me. Now, it's lunch time and I'm hungry."

"Padfoot, will you really tell Lily?" I nodded my head. James cursed under his breath. "I think you're wrong about not being right for me Sirius, but there's nothing I can say now since I'm with Lily. I hope we can still be friends though."

James hopped off the table and held out his arms. I slid off the table, reluctantly hugging him. James squeezed me tight. "I love you Sirius." My heart beat wildly in my chest as the door to the classroom banged loudly revealing a wide eyed Severus. He dropped the tray of food he was carrying, turning on his heels and running. I pushed James aside and ran after Severus not believing what just happened. My past and future collided with each other making the present hard to deal with. I only hoped Severus would listen to my side of the story.


	6. Chapter 6

Here's Chapter 6 I hope you like it! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I love you all so much. Thank you again. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

I chased after Severus going as fast as my legs would carry me, but Severus somehow managed to stay ahead of me. The dog in me relished the chase that was happening. I almost changed in to Padfoot. I refrained from transforming. This was not a rabbit I was chasing this was someone who could change everything in my life and he was getting away. I pushed my body harder as Severus rounded the corner that would lead him to the dungeons. I barely caught up to him, seeing his robes swish as he went in a classroom. I ran in the room to find Severus facing me, his face beaded with sweat, face flushed from the exertion of running. My lungs burned, my legs ached, and I was all sweaty. It was worth it if it got Severus to listen to me. I can't believe the one thing he heard was James telling me he loved me. My mine shied away from what James might mean from those three words. Something I thought I'd love to hear in the light of day only made me feel weighed down. Not light and airy like I thought I'd feel. 'I love you' coming from the wrong person doesn't feel so good especially when that person has already hurt you significantly. What are the odds James meant he loved me as a friend? I didn't know and I wouldn't know any time soon. Severus mattered now.

I sidled up to Severus, his nostrils flared as he glared at me, his hair hanging around his face, shielding some of the anger I saw from his dark eyes. "What do you want?" Severus growled, taking a few steps away from me. For the first time I noticed we were in our Potion classroom, Severus next to our work station. Deep hurt flashed in his eyes as I reached out to touch him. I pulled back my hand, not wanting upset him anymore than he already was.

"I want to explain what you just heard…"

"It sounded like Potter was confessing his love for you and you appeared to be accepting it. You were in his arms. Potter looked happy to have you in them."

I made sure I was right in front of Severus, looking straight in the eyes. "Yes, James said he loved me for some reason." I scrunched my brow. I still can't believe he said that. "I was only hugging him because I thought we had resolved everything and he wanted to hug it out. That's when he said—what you heard." I shifted my weight from foot to foot. It was so uncomfortable talking about this. Severus wasn't convinced either if his grimace was any indication. "What were you doing there?"

Severus raised brow in surprise. "Me?"

"Yeah. What were you doing there with a tray of food?"

Severus frowned, scuffing his foot against the stone. He met my eyes. "I overheard Lupin say he was going to take you a tray of food just in case you didn't make it to lunch and being the bright person I am I offered because I wanted to see you." The last few were mumbled, Severus' cheeks burning with a soft pink glow. The sight made me want to scoop him in my arms and kiss him until we were both breathless.

I held strong as he gave me a sharp look, daring me to say something about his actions. To me they were so sweet. No one had ever wanted to bring me lunch before that wasn't a friend. "You really did that for me?" I asked. It was obvious. I still wanted to hear the answer.

"Yes. I brought you food. Lupin told me where to find you. I never expected to find you in Potter's arms." Severus's whole body shuddered. Not a pleasant thought, I guess. "You can leave now. There's nothing more to say."

"What are you talking about? There's plenty more to say. Thank you for bringing me lunch. And there's nothing going on with me and James."

Severus held up his hand as he moved closer to me, making me back away from the ferocity in his eyes. He pointed toward the door. "Then you need to tell that to Potter because he's treading a dangerous line with his relationship with Lily and if he touches you like that one more time I might explode and curse him. He can't touch you. Not like that." Severus fumed, hands clenched at his sides. Slowly I took his hands in mine, interlacing our fingers. I brought his right hand up and kissed the back of his hand, earning me a raised eyebrow. Severus's body leaned closer to mine until we were embracing. Warmth bloomed in my chest at the close contact. So different from James and so very welcomed.

I smiled in Severus's hair. "You really don't want James to touch me?"

Severus pulled back, looking at me like I was an idiot. Wouldn't be the first or last time. "Are you kidding me? Now that I finally have you I'm not letting you go. Do you hear me Sirius." My heart raced hearing Severus say my first name. It sounded right falling from his lips. "Once we start something it's you and me. Nobody else especially Potter. He wants you. I know he does. He wasn't just telling you he loved you as a friend it meant more than that. Even if he's with Lily I think he might try to get you back. We've barely had any time together but I know there's something there and I'll be damn if James Potter ruins it." A shiver went through my body at the possessive words. It was new and exciting to be wanted so much. To know that what I felt was also reciprocated. I leaned in to kiss Severus, he held me back with a hand on my chest. "You have to make this more solid Sirius. What to do you want from me? Something casual? Permanent? What?"

I knew my answer would change whatever it was between us. It was something that I needed to think about long and hard. Two hearts were on the line. Severus's was most important. He really put himself out there. A lot more than I ever thought he would. I never in a million years would've thought that Severus Snape would want anything to do with me. Elated didn't even begin to describe how I felt at that moment. But there was a lot to consider. I shook my head when have I ever considered anything other than what my gut was telling. I always went with the feeling. It was right a good portion of the time. I'd let it lead me this time too.

"I want you. You are all that I want for however long you'll have me." My face burned under Severus's scrutiny, he nodded satisfied with what he saw. Severus titled his head to the side, nudging his lips with mine, barely touching mine, sending the most wonderful feelings floating through my body. He cupped my cheeks as he deepened the kiss, nipping, licking, biting, tasting. Making the world around me spin out of control then narrow back to the two of us. The smallest touch from the man in front of me wracked my body with shivers. I was so hard by the time Severus pulled away I knew I'd never make it back to class without someone noticing. It was worth it as long as Severus kept touching me. I looked down to find Severus just as hard. Why he wanted to be with me, I still wasn't sure. I was going to question it.

Severus readjusted his clothes, righting himself. I turned to the side shifting my prick as best as I could. An outline was very visible from my trousers. Oh well. Not much I could do about it. At least not now. My mouth watered as I watched Severus run his hands through his hair. He glanced at me eyes boring in to mine. A blush crept up his cheeks the longer I looked at him. Blood rushed through my veins, heating my body. I wanted to feel Severus writhe under my touch as I brought him to climax. Would he make any sounds or would it be a silent cry? How would he look? Those and more thoughts flew through my mind. I had to know.

"Tonight. I want you tonight," Severus murmured as his eyes glazed over staring at my mouth.

My throat went dry at his words. I swallowed a few times, trying to find my voice. "What do you mean?"

"I'm not exactly sure, but I want to try _something_. I need you."

A bolt of heat hit my cock making me harder if that was possible. Severus needed me. "I need you too." Severus was the only person that ever made me feel this way.

Severus took my hand leading me to the door. "You still can't tell me about what you wanted to discuss with Potter can you?"

A sharp pain hit my heart. It was hard to keep everything from him, but James still deserved a chance to tell Lily what he'd done. "No, I'm sorry. I have let him try to do the right thing."

Severus wrapped his hand around my hair, dragging in my in for a fierce kiss that left my knees weak and a little wobbly. "Potter can't have you now."

I smiled widely. "I don't think he ever had me."

"I'm serious. Potter lays one hand on you in front of me and he's going to get it."

"Why do you want me?" So much for not asking.

"Didn't I already explain this last night? I think I'm going to let you try and figure it out while we go eat." We walked out together, side by side. We grabbed something from the kitchen. I revealed to Severus the way the Marauders got food during the night. We ate quickly outside the kitchen, sitting on the cold stone floor. My butt was freezing as we got ready for the rest of the day. Severus promised to meet me after dinner in the Room of Requirement. My blood thrummed with heat in his eyes.

The next few classes were hard to say the least. James tried every which way to talk to me. I wasn't going to hear, not now. Not until he talked with Lily. The three words he uttered were not meant for my ears. A feeling of wrongness hung around them. They would've been so welcomed when I thought James and I had something. The weird the thing was I knew I could forgive James if only he'd give me the chance to instead of mucking up everything. I wanted to understand what he wanted and needed out of a partner. That day wasn't going to come anytime soon. I needed to forgive and heal before we could move past this and resume our friendship.

The last of class of the day let us out and I was caught in a whirl wind of James. "My goodness you are one hard bloke to find. Why do you keep avoiding me?" It was also a class I shared with Severus. He looked over at me and James, eyes narrowing when James put his hand on my shoulder. Earlier I told Remus what had transpired between me and Severus. Remus saw the look in Severus's eyes. He intercepted Severus before he could hex James. Not wanting anyone to get hurt or in trouble, I carefully backed away from James, spotting Lily wait for him at the door.

"I was trying to give you some space. Lily's waiting for you." James's eyes widened as he glanced over at the pretty red-head, a big smile on her face.

James looked like he'd been slapped as he looked back at me. "I'm going to talk to Lily tonight." James went to his girlfriend, holding her hand as they left to start the rest of their afternoon.

A freezing sensation filled my chest. Tonight would change a lot of things. I only hoped that Lily and James didn't get hurt too much. Severus rushed to me as soon as Remus stepped out of the way.

"Right now you're mine," Severus grabbed my hand and led me out of the classroom. I could only guess at what we were going to do and it sent blood straight to my cock.


	7. Chapter 7

Oh my goodness my hands hurt from typing this Chapter :) Here's Chapter 7 I hope you like it. Thank you so much for everything. You all make me so happy. Thank you again. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Severus led me through the halls to the Room of Requirement. Excitement thrummed through my body. It was so hard to believe that it was all happening now. Severus and I were taking a step I didn't think we'd take so soon. I felt my hopes dashed a little when Severus let go of my hand, patting down himself. He huffed, blowing some of his hair out of his face.

"I forgot something. Can you wait here for ten or fifteen minutes tops?" Severus asked.

I nodded, some of the excitement flowing away. "Sure, I'll be right here."

"Thank you. I'll be right back." Severus took off down the hall at a brisk walk. If I didn't know better I'd say he wanted to run, but didn't want to show how desperate he was. It warmed my heart a little and took away the small amount of disappointment I felt at Severus leaving me here alone. It was obvious he wanted to get here as fast as he could. I'd give him the benefit of the doubt.

I leaned against the wall, running my hands over the cool stone. The roughness of the all the bumps of grooves ingrained themselves on my hands since I had been standing in the hall waiting for Severus for over twenty minutes. I wasn't mad, but I was worried and a little nervous. Severus was one to always keep his word. I knew that much or at least what I heard from Lily. My mind drifted to the possibility that Severus might be messing with me. I shook the thoughts away. Not possible. I refused to believe that everything between us had been some sort of hoax. My imagination was not good enough to imagine all the things that were said, felt, tasted between me and Severus. Although as the minuets melted into thirty it was getting harder and harder to believe that something wasn't wrong. Severus wouldn't stand me up for no good reason. I decided to try and find him when my wondering landed me in front of Remus.

His head whipped up as I turned the corner. Remus looked down at a piece of parchment, small dots moving across it, the Marauders Map. I was surprised when Remus dropped the map and flung his arms around me. "There you are. I've been looking for you forever. James is really upset and he won't talk to me or Peter. He says he it has to have you there. Nobody else will do. I know this is a lot to ask given what has happened between you guys, but I think he really needs his best friend now. He seems visibly shaken." Remus tripped over his words and by the end I was jogging to get to James. Despite the weirdness between us I'd be there for my friend. Remus followed close behind, taking the front when they entered the common room, leading me to James, tucked in a chair by the fire. He lifted his head when heard my footsteps, his eyes were bloodshot, trails of tears stains marking his face. He shot out of the chair, wrapping me a hard hug. I tried to pull away, he was having none it. He held me tighter. I gave in wrapping arms around him, patting his back in what I hoped was a soothing matter. Remus stayed off to the side, worry lining the crinkles around his eyes. His bright amber eyes softened when he saw James relax against me. My heart broke for my friend. James started crying again in my arms and I continued to hold him. I had no idea what could cause such a reaction in him. It was hard to fathom James crying about anything. The only thing that might make his emotions go haywire was Lily. Lily. Oh, no. Guilt rode along with all the emotions running through my system.

"James, tell me what happened." I slowly extracted myself from James's body binding hug. This time he let me go without any protest. I had a sinking feeling I already knew what happened to him, but I gave James the room and support he needed from me.

James sat on the edge of the chair he previously vacated, placing his elbows on his knees, hands cupping his face. New trails of tears ran down his face. It felt like a punch to the gut all over again. James may have thought we had something but me leaving didn't affect him like this. Not that I wanted James back or anything like that. But it sort of hurt to know he never wanted me as bad as he wanted Lily. I banished all the feelings that were coursing through me. It was already established that I was nothing more than a body for James to get off on no matter what he may have said. His reaction to Lily was a dead giveaway.

James sniffed a little, wiping a hand under his nose. "Lily kept asking me what was wrong after class. I had planned on telling her later tonight, but it kept nagging at me and I told her everything. She was quiet for everything then she exploded. She broke up with me. I never realized how much it would hurt to have someone I love do that to me." James looked up at me a new understanding flashing across his eyes. "Sirius if I made you feel this way I'm so incredibly sorry. There is nothing I can say that can make it better. I just hope you can forgive me. I know you and Lily don't understand how I can love two people at the same time, but I do and now I have nothing." Remus gave James a side hug. His eyes meeting mine. A thought hit me. Severus might've run in to Lily on his way to get whatever it was he was looking for. The sudden abandonment didn't hurt so much. If James was this much of a wreck I can't imagine what Lily was going through.

I kneeled in front of James taking his hands in mine. "I'm sorry James. I really am."

"I feel so guilty. You should've seen the way she was looking at me like I was dirt under her shoe. Not that I blame her." Remus slowly left James and me alone guiding a confused Peter away. "I'm a horrible person." James's eyes shined as he looked down at me.

Something inside me crumbled breaking away from all the hurt and pain James put me through. I knew for sure I could forgive him now. "You are not a horrible person. Just because you made a mistake doesn't make you a bad person. If you want to have a relationship with two people I think it might be best the both people are privy to the arrangement," I said, smiling to let him know I was only teasing. I really did mean what I said. James may have been way off the mark when it came to being with both Lily and I, but that didn't make him a bad person. Hell we've all done things that we're not proud. I'm just sad that so many hearts had to go through the grinder in this situation. No matter what happened everyone was going to hurt some way or another. My hurt led me to Severus so in way I had thank James for what he did to me otherwise I might have stayed away from Severus. I know Lily and James will find something out of this strange situation. I did and they would too. Although it may not be what anyone might expect.

"You have a point. Will you help me with some of my homework? I can't think straight right now. I'm really worried about Lily. She ran off and I couldn't find her no matter where I looked."

"I'm sure she's fine. I think she just needs some space right now."

"I know you're right. I want to make sure she's oaky." James's concern for Lily didn't sting as much as I thought it would. He didn't do any of that for me then again I think he loved us in very different ways.

James and I spent the rest of the afternoon working on our homework. Peter and Remsus stayed away. I would've liked it a little better if there were here with us. It was little strange to comfort the man that cheated on me about his girlfriend dumping him for cheating. James and I had been through so much together. One incident couldn't take away all the good times I had with him. I'd be there for my friend as much as I could.

As it neared dinner James refused to eat. "I don't think I can stomach anything right now. It's tied up in knots."

"You have to try and eat something," I scolded lightly. It'd do no one any good if James passed out. James continued to flat out refuse. I put my hands on my hips. "Fine, I'm going to go eat dinner and bring you back something to eat. I'll be back soon."

I turned to go down to eat when James hugged me from behind. "Thank you, Padfoot. I don't deserve a friend like you. You always make me feel so much better and so good." James's voice dipped down a little. His thoughts seemed to be taking a different turn. I had to get out before they were fully formed.

I stepped out of James's arms turning to look at him. "You don't have to thank me for being your friend. I'm going to go get you you're food." I scrambled out of the common room feeling James's stare on backside for the whole way. Oh, no I hoped he wasn't thinking certain things. No, there was no way. James must be feeling a little lonely after the break up with Lily. No more. I put aside everything, focusing on taking care of my friend.

I walked down to the Great Hall and got quite a shock. Severus was sitting at the Gryffindor table right beside Lily, holding her hand, whispering to her. Lily looked like she'd been through hell. Emotionally she probably had been. Her eyes were red, her normally combed hair was in disarray. Severus pulled her against his side. I knew that he was taking care of Lily. I made my way over to them when Lily looked up from the table. Her eyes went wide, she got up from the table quickly, rushing over to me. She squished me to her smaller body.

"Sirius I'm so sorry. I had no idea that James was seeing you too. I'm sorry." I rubbed her back. It was similar to what I did for James earlier.

"You have nothing to be sorry about. I'm sorry." I felt the crushing weight of guilt of what Lily was going through. Her bright green eyes filled with tears as a small smile graced her face.

"You don't have to sorry either. I'm just so glad you seem to be doing well. Severus clued me in. To be honest I always thought you two might hit it off if you weren't always claiming that you were enemies."

"Really?' I crinkled my nose in confusion. Lily led me back to Severus, making sure I was sitting next to him. He frowned at me, dark eyes glowing with unsaid things.

"Yes, really. I was just telling Severus the same thing." Lily was handling the situation better than I expected. I was glad. She'd be back on her feet in no time. Severus seemed to be the remedy to mend a broken heart.

Lily went back to eating her dinner leaving me beside a very quite Severus. "So?" I said, not knowing what to say. That only happened when I was around Severus.

"So? What do you mean so? You and Lily were cheated on by the same person and all you can say is so. That's why you went to the Room of Requirement the other night isn't it? You were in so much pain and you didn't say why. I know you wanted to give Potter the time to do the right thing, but I wish you could have told me. I'm even more convinced that he'll want you back." Severus crossed his arms over his chest. I cupped his face, gently turning it so he could face me.

"Actually I'm doing well and that's thanks to you because I found you. And there is no way James can get me back. I was more worried about Lily. I'm so happy she has you to be there for her." I pecked Severus's lips, his eyes almost bugged out.

"You kissed me in front of the whole school." Severus didn't sound mad only shocked. I looked around the Hall to see there were some surprised gazes but nobody appeared to care.

"Yes I did. Are you mad at me?"

"No, it's just I thought you might want to hide what was between us."

"Nope, I'd rather let everyone know than keep it to ourselves and it gives me the freedom to do this." I kissed Severus more deeply, earning me a whimper as I nipped at his bottom lip to open up for me. I pulled away smiling to find Severus a little dazed. It was a good look on him. I gave him one more kiss for good measure. "What did you go get this afternoon?"

Severus colored a little, the blush covering the apples of his cheeks all the way down to his neck. Severus dug through his pocket, pulling a small vile with clear liquid. "It's lubrication for—you know." Severus's blush deepened as he struggled to explain himself. "I know there are spells to stretch and lubricate…certain areas instead of that I want to feel you stretch me and not some spell. That's where this comes in." Severus held up the vile then put it back in his pocket. My face heated at the images of stretching Severus. My prick twitched with interest. I calmed my body as best as I could. Now was not the time to stand up with my arousal to show the whole world. "I apologize for not returning to you. Lily was waiting for me near the Slytherin entrance and I couldn't leave her. Did you wait long?"

"First of all there's nothing to apologize for. Not long. Maybe about thirty minutes. I would've waited longer, but then I went to go look for you. That's when Remus found me and took me to James. I got an idea. Lily why don't you hang with Severus and I in our home away from home for the rest of the night. I know someone who owes me a game of chess. I'll meet you guys there. I have to take some food up to James."

Lily smiled softly. "I'd love that. Are you sure you want to take him anything?"She frowned, probably not understanding my reasons.

Severus glowered at the idea. I know he didn't want me to be around James. I had to do it. He was still my friend and he was hurting. "Yeah. I'll be there soon." I ate fast so I could meet Severus and Lily that much sooner. Severus was still angry when we parted ways.

"I'll be right there," I promised, kissing his cheek. Lily giggled at the display. It would be hard for me to keep my hands to myself now that everyone knew. I kept it to the minimum. Severus's cheeks glowed as he showed Lily where we had been staying together for the past few days.

I took James his food. He was having an intense discussion with Remus and Peter. I didn't want to interrupt. I left the food next to Moony knowing he'd get James to eat. If James noticed me he didn't say anything.

I ran all the way to the Room of Requirement. Severus and Lily were already in the middle of a game. I watched commenting on some of the moves Lily made. "Are you sure you want to move your pawn there?" I asked, rubbing my chin. My mind whirled with all the possibilities of the moves on the board.

Lily smiled widely, emerald eyes sparkling. "Yes, just watch." And I did. Lily ended up winning, putting me in the hot seat to play her. After a grueling game Lily ended up saying, "Checkmate." She leaned back in the chair. She stifled a yawn, covering her mouth with her hand. "That's how's it done."

Severus was sitting next to me chuckling softly. "I told you not to make that move but no you had to go with your gut. If you followed my advice you might have won."

"Hey, hey I did the best that I could, okay?"

"Your best lost you the game," Severus pointed out.

"I bet I can beat you."

"I'd like to see you try."

Lily's laugher startled us both. "You two are so cute together. As much as I'd like to see someone other than me win I think it's time for me to go to bed. I'm going to head out."

"I'll walk back." I pointed at the board. "And when I get back I'm going to whoop you arse."

"Show me what you." Severus's smirk, shot straight to my groin. I think the game of chess had to wait. I wanted to get Severus in bed doing other things with arse.

"You don't have to do that." Lily gathered all her stuff.

"I insist and since I lost I will carry all your things. Hand them over." I wiggled my fingers until Lily relented. "I'll be right back," I called to Severus.

"I'm going to shower while you're out. Night Lily." Severus went in to the bathroom. The water started running and I had a mental flash of pale skin just wanting to be flushed with arousal. Damn, that was a nice thought.

"Goodnight, Severus," Lily called out.

I walked Lily to Gryffindor tower. She kept ribbing me about our chess game. It was so nice to talk to her as a friend. In the face of all that she went through today she was holding herself together well. I dropped her off at the portrait, getting another hug from before she slipped through the hole. I started walking back to the Room of Requirement when I heard my name shouted. It shook me to the core.

"Sirius!" James yelled. He looked furious as he climbed out of the portrait hole and marched over to me. James's face was red as he stood in front of me, chest heaving from his labored breathing. "What's going on? You're with Snape now?!"

I was stunned at the ferocity of his tone and words. James never spoke to me like that before. My brow furrowed as I asked, "How'd you know?"

"You're not denying it? Some people said they saw you kissing him! How could you? Are you with him now?"

The silence in the corridor pressed in on me as James waited for my answer. I had the feeling my answer would shatter some old relationships and create new ones. Was I ready for that to happen?


	8. Chapter 8

Hi everyone here's Chapter 8. I hope you like it. There will be a lime (I think that's right) in this chapter. I love you guys so so much! Thank you for reading and reviewing. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

******Warning: Sexual content**

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Of course I was ready for that. Many things over the last few days had already changed and rearranged themselves. I was starting to see my new best friend was becoming Severus and he was waiting for me. I didn't want to make him wait any longer than he had to. James's tantrum was getting in the way. The real question was what was up James's arse? As far as I could tell he was devastated over Lily and now he was yelling at me for being with Severus. Talk about confusing. Remind me never to love two people at the same time. Heartache and headache at the same time.

I straightened my shoulders, stood up straight and said proudly, "Yes, I'm with Severus. Do you have a problem with that?" I asked, knowing the answer. I didn't have the why.

James stared at me like I had three heads. "You're not kidding?"

"No, I'm not. Why would I kid about something like that? I'm with Severus and happen to very happy. Now if you'll excuse me he's waiting for me right now." I turned to leave only to have my path blocked by James. I sighed loudly. Not so easy to get away. "James, why do you have a problem with me being Severus?"

"Because you're my friend and I don't want to see you with him. He's our enemy."

"No he used to be our enemy, but then we grew up a little or at least I thought we did. James I'm sure if you give him a chance you two might be able to stay in the same room without hexing each other."

James snorted, laughing. His good humor didn't last very long. "I thought you and I could…" My breath hitched in my chest as James struggled to find the words to speak. "I'd like for us to be the couple I never allowed us to be. We'd have an open honest relationship."

I shook my head not believing my ears. Surely he was kidding? The earnest look in his eyes said he was being serious. "You know that can never happen. I thought you were hung up on Lily?"

James came closer to me. I stood my ground. Merlin, this was hard. "I am, but I know Lily isn't going to give me the time of day now. I lost one person I love and I wanted to see if I could get the other person I love back."

"James there is nothing in this world that would make me think being together with you again is a good idea. I already have someone I want and need. You can't be that person anymore. And from the way you worded everything it sounds like you'd be settling for second best." I smiled sadly. No one wants to be second choice for the person their going out with.

James's forehead wrinkled, worry lines standing out. "You really think you're second best?"

"Yes. The way you cried over Lily this afternoon I could tell you really care for her, but with me you never did anything like that. I think you're lonely and vulnerable and trying not to feel any pain right now. There's nothing wrong with that, but you shouldn't try and fill your bed with someone that means nothing to you to try and get over Lily. You can't replace Lily with me. I won't be anybody's substitute. Not even for you."

James deflated, body sagging forward. He stood up, rubbing his face with his hand, stress written all over it. "I'm sorry Sirius. I'm saying that way too often nowadays. I don't know what came over me. The thought of you with someone else makes my stomach hurt but when I found out it was Snape my blood boiled over. I want you to be happy. And I want to be happy for you. I just don't know if I can do it right now. All my emotions are right at the surface. I might explode if I see you with Snape. I know you think you're second best for me. That's not how I view you. I'll try to respect your wishes. I think it might be best for right now if we don't have much contact."

My heart broke a little at James's words. Even after everything he put me through I was still there for him and now when I find someone I know I can be happy with he says he can't support me. "Are you sure?" My voice cracked a little. I wanted to remain strong, but this time it felt like losing my friend, maybe not forever, but for the time being.

James touched my shoulder, squeezing a little. "I think it's best for now. I don't want to hurt you anymore. If I'm around right now I know it'll happen. You and Lily deserve to happy and taking me out of your lives right now might be for the best. I'll see you around."

Laughter bubbled up in my chest despite the seriousness of the situation. "We share the same dorm."

"Oh, yeah."

"And classes."

"I get it Padfoot." James blushed a little. It was fun to tease him a little. "I'll miss you. It won't be forever you know. I need to get my head back on straight."

"I think I understand. I guess I'll see you later." James let me go on my way with no more fight. He was actually trying to put my happiness ahead of his. It was a strange idea to think about my world without James being there every second of the day or close to. He might be right. If he was going to give me crap about being with Severus then some time a part might be beneficial for all involved.

Thankfully I made it back to my new home with Severus. I walked in to find Severus curled up in a chair, reading. I rushed over to him pulling him into a bone crushing hug. He hugged me back without saying anything. No words needed to be said right then. I just knew I needed Severus.

Severus's warm breath ghosted over my ear, sending shivers to all the right places. "What happened?"

I hugged him closer to me if that was possible. "James doesn't want to have any contact anymore. He said it's too much especially knowing that we're together."

Severus let out a sigh. "Too be honest that makes me feel better. I know you're hurt right now, but it might do you both good."

I wasn't sure if I should tell Severus that James also said that he wanted me back. Honesty was probably best right now. I let go of Severus. He studied me with a critical eye. I had no doubt that he'd figure it out if I didn't tell him. "Part of the reason James wants to put some distance between us is because he wants me back. But I'm positive that he only wants me because he can't have Lily."

Severus's eyes sparked with fire, hands clenched at his sides. His whole body was ramrod stiff as he breathed deeply through his nose. "I knew he wanted you back. He's lucky I wasn't there or I might've…" Severus shook himself, forcibly relaxing his body. "I'm so glad you came back."

I frowned at Severus's words. "What do you mean?" I brushed my hair behind my ears. Severus followed my movements, eyes losing focus. I wonder where his mind was going to get such a lost look on his face. I waved my hand in front of his face, jolting him out of his dreamland.

Severus coughed in his hand, blushing a little. "Sirius, you're so oblivious to everything. Because I want you all for myself and I know how much James must've meant to you. It wouldn't be so crazy to think you might want to be with him if given another chance."

"I think you're the one who doesn't see certain things. Severus, I want you. No one else." I cupped Severus's face, bringing our lips closer. "I'm just going to have to show you how much I want you," I breathed hotly before I took Severus's lips in a deep kiss, plundering his mouth. Mapping out all the ridges of his palate and teeth. He clung to me, making small noises in the back of his throat. I pushed Severus back down in the chair. I kneeled down, parting his legs to make room for me. His pupils were blown as he looked down at me. No one had ever wanted me so much. It was a heady feeling, all consuming. Severus's mouth dropped opened as I rubbed him through his trousers. Small gasps and mewls escaped from him, sounding like a symphony to my ears. It was intoxicating to hear the normally quiet man lose himself to pleasure. And to know I was the one giving it to him.

I settled my trembling hands on Severus's thighs, massaging the muscles. "Tell me what you want Severus."

"You," Severus said. Voice low and husky.

"You have me." Since this was Severus's first time, taking things slow seemed like the best course of action. I didn't think I'd last long anyway. My erection pressed against the teeth of my zipper. I wanted to alleviate some of the pressure. Tonight's pleasure was not about me. It was about showing Severus how I wanted him. My cock could wait. There was always a cold shower or my right hand to help take care of the problem. "I want to suck your cock." My mouth watered at the thought. I swallowed hard. "Is that oaky with you?"

Severus threw his head back as I flipped open the button on his trousers, ready to pull down the zipper. "Merlin, yes. Get on with it, Sirius." I chuckled as I pulled down the zipper.

Severus groaned as I pulled down his trousers, surprised to find he wasn't wearing underwear. I choked as I gazed at his long cock. It was lovely. Long and slender. I knew it would fit perfectly in mouth. I licked my lips seeing his prick was already leaking pre-cum. I leaned forward, swiping my tongue over the head. Severus bucked his hips forward, seeking more. "Yum. You taste so delicious Severus. Did you know that?" Severus shook his head, not able to speak. Lust hit me right in the cock. Severus's cheeks were flushed, face dampened with sweat as he panted under my ministrations and I hadn't even begun. I wrapped my hand around the base of his shaft, guiding it toward my mouth. We both moaned as I swallowed him down to the root. My nose hit his pubic hair, as his cock hit the back of my throat. His cock was so hot and silky. I relaxed my throat, swallowing around his prick. Severus held on to the arms of the chair, nails digging in to the material as I bobbed my head up and down his prick, coating it in my saliva. Severus tasted so wonderful. I developed a fast rhythm, taking Severus as deep as I could then licking him like a lolly pop. Enjoying how much he panted when I dipped my tongue in to his slit, collecting all the pre-cum I could. Severus tried many times to thrust in my mouth and I finally let go of his hips. He thrust hard and fast in my mouth until he howled his climax, pumping all his cum down my throat. I loved every moment of it. I licked my lips as Severs's cock fell from my lips. He breathed harshly as I tucked him back in his trousers.

He looked down at me with wonder. "Come here," Severus said, sweaty hair, clinging to his face. He brought me to my feet and kissed me. "You're amazing."

I smiled shyly. "Why thank you. You're not so bad yourself. What do you say about getting some sleep?"

"Best plan ever." Severus was groggy as we changed in to our pajamas. We got in bed and he spooned me, hand wandering down to my pajama bottoms. I stopped his hand before he could reach my erection. "Don't you want me to take care of you?"

"I'd loved that, but not tonight. Tonight was about showing you how much I want you and to give you pleasure."

"I want to do the same for you."

"We'll have plenty of time for that. Right now sleep." Severus snuggled closer to my back. His breathing evened out. I stayed awake thinking about how much I already cared for Severus. If I didn't know better I'd think I was in love with him. Was that possible? I fell asleep thinking about my feelings for Severus and still not knowing the answer yet.


	9. Chapter 9

Here's Chapter 9 I hope you enjoy. You guys always rock! Thank you to all the readers and reviewers. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

Morning brought with it a cold bed. I stretched out seeking the Severus's warmth when all I found was an empty bed. I peeked through my lashes to find I was alone and a little cold. The sound of the shower turning off relaxed me. I laid back in bed thinking of the events of last night. Severus and I took another step forward. I only hoped that it led to more encounters like the one last night. I was starting to get excited. My excitement only amplified when Severus came out of the bathroom, he was already dressed but he looked delectable. I sat up in bed, grinning as he started getting ready for the day.

"Good morning," I said, feeling elated. My whole body felt light for some reason. It was going to be a great day. Severus frowned at my giddy mood. Or maybe not such a great day.

"You never have a care in the world do you?" Severus sniped at me.

I was taken aback by his attitude toward me. My heart sank like a rock. My shoulders slumped as Severus got all his things and put them away his bag. He exhaled loudly when you he saw my pout. "What's up you arse this morning?" I folded my arms over my chest.

Severus sat on the edge of the bed, fiddling with the comforter. "Sirius, I don't think you realize that Potter isn't the only who is going to react badly to us being together. I'm going to suggest something and I don't want you to take it the wrong way." Which probably meant I was going to take it the wrong way. I nodded for Severus to continue. I really don't think it matters what other people think, but it obviously meant something to him and I'd try to hear him out with an open mind. "I think we should lay low and maybe spend some time apart for a few days. We can't live here forever and I don't know about you but I miss my bed." I sat there in silence not knowing what to say. It felt like Severus didn't want to be with me. I wonder if I could ever find someone who would stick by my side no questions asked. That didn't want to hide. Or maybe it was me. No one ever wanted date me in the open. What's up with that? Was this really about laying low?

"What's this really about?" I asked, hoping there would be something else and not that Severus didn't want to be with me. It always seemed to happen after I had sex with someone. "Did I push you too far last night?"

Severus's eye widened. "No, last night was wonderful." He rubbed his arms with his hands. "It's just it feels like we're moving really fast. I mean you just broke up Potter a few days ago and now you're with me. Also I didn't tell you the whole truth when I told you Lily was the only person I had kissed. There's someone else and they might not take it well that we're together in any capacity. I didn't want to tell who it was because I thought you might not want to go any further with me if you knew who it was." Severus was even paler than usual. Who could it possibly be?

"Is it Malfoy?" Not a pleasant thought.

Severus looked horrified at the suggestion. "Oh, please like I'd be stupid enough to be with Lucius. Once you're under his thumb he never lets you go unless he wants you gone." Severus shuddered.

"Then who? Did you have sex with them?"

"No we didn't get any farther than kissing." Severus evaded the question. Not ready to tell me.

"You can tell me when you're ready. If you want to lay low for the time being that's fine." I didn't reveal all my insecurities to Severus. Being hidden in the shadows again. I had to say something that might potentially ruin the delicate relationship Severus and I had developed. "On second thought I can't lay low. If you need time and space to think about what you want us to be then take it, but until you can be with me openly we can't be together. I will not let anyone dictate how I live my life just because it might make them uncomfortable. They can go screw themselves if they don't like it." My heart crumbled a little with my words. This wasn't how I envisioned today happening. I couldn't do it again. James kept me in the dark between the sheets. The idea was suffocating. It shouldn't matter to anyone if Severus and I were together. Why should it matter? Severus was convinced someone would be mad, but who that person was I couldn't begin to guess. Lily was on our side. Not enough.

"You don't mean that." Severus jutted in chin out defiantly.

"Yes, I do. If you don't want to be with me that's fine. I think I better go." I got up and went to the bathroom to change. It was hard to keep up my façade. It cut me deeply saying everything to Severus. It needed to be said. Severus was waiting for me outside the door when I finished getting dressed.

"I'm only asking for a few days to keep a low profile."

"That may be but Severus it's not like I'm going to blow you in front of the whole school. I kissed you that was all I did. If that's too much I can understand, but asking to separate and not be together is too much for me right now. Maybe…" I wanted to say maybe we should forget the whole thing. The words were stuck in my throat. I didn't want to. Severus was a shot of a lifetime, but this might break us. "What is so important about keeping a low profile when everyone probably already knows?"

"I wanted time for that person to accept what is between us. They are not going to like it and some of my mates won't accept it either."

I took a deep breath. "Like I said before take whatever time you need, but I can't be with you if you want me to hide."

Severus was angry. He bit his bottom lip, jaw clenched, eyes dark with many emotions. "Fine then have it your way. Just to let you know I might not come back in a few days."

I nodded, keeping my expression neutral. "That's your decision." It was killing me to say these things.

"Sirius!" Severus yelled. "You can't do this. What if you find someone else while we're not together? Are you going to be with them? Potter might try to get you back."

I shrugged. "If that happens then it happens."

"Why are you being like this?"

"Because I will not let people run my life. If my friends can't accept that we're together than that's their problem. And if you can't be with me openly there's not much I can do. I won't force you to. You didn't seem to have a problem with it last night."

"That was before I really thought about it. What my friends think matters to me. I want time, but what you're asking is too much."

"I feel the same way." _So this is how ends_.

"It looks like we're at an impasse." Severus was livid now. If I didn't know any better I'd think he was ready to curse me. "I'm warning you now Sirius I might now come back to you if you want to continue with this."

My heart broke, a new crack with every word uttered. "I know. Maybe this is for the best. No one ever wants Sirius Black on their arm in the open." Severus looked like he wanted to say something, but I gathered my stuff with a flick of my wand and I was gone.

Severus and I were in limbo. I had no idea if he would ever want to be with me now. If he couldn't be with me in the open like I thought he could then it was best that it ended now. I crossed my fingers that the next few days would give Severus some perspective. I wouldn't date anyone else like he thought I might especially not James.

I slunk over to the Great Hall for breakfast catching Severus's eye as I made my over to the Gryffindor table. He sat right next my _brother_! Since when did they become friends? Lucius sat on the other side of Severus. They all seemed to be having a great time even Severus. It looked like he was doing okay without me. Regulus seemed unusually close to him. It made my blood boil to see him that close. _Oh, this must be what Severus was talking about. Someone else might grab our attention and take it away if we're not together. _A risk that had to be made. I turned my away from Severus actually smiling with his friends.

I sat down next to Remus who was engaged in conversation with Peter. James glanced at me then looked down at his food before whipping his head back up. "What happened?" He climbed over the table in true James fashion catching the attention of a good portion of the Great Hall. Severus in particular. He grew red in the face the longer he looked at James sitting next to me. To say I was uncomfortable was an understatement. And there was nowhere to go.

"I thought you weren't going to talk to me for a while?" I questioned. I was seriously contemplating skipping classes just to sleep for the rest of the day and if James didn't put some distance between us Severus was going to explode even if we weren't officially together at the moment. He might cause permanent damage to James.

"You look like a wreck."

Despite my best efforts my lips twitched a little. "You could say that."

"Well?"

"Severus and I agreed to a break for a while." Agreed might not be the right word, unwillingly on both our parts.

James's eyes sparked with something. I wasn't about to find out what it was. "Oh, I forgot I left something in my room. Got to go."

"I'll go with you," James said, ready to stick to my side. Remus pulled on his sleeve making him sit down.

"How about you finish your breakfast and let Sirius do what he has to." Remus gave me a small smile. He was a lifesaver.

It looked like James might be back in the game if he considered Severus out of the picture. I lost my appetite. I nodded at Remus and made my escape. I got out of there walking blindly throughout the castle. If Severus and I were going to take some time apart James might insert himself back in my life. I slumped against a wall. When I finally looked at my surroundings I found I was in the dungeons. No wonder I was freezing my arse off. The fumes from recently made potions and old ones entered my nose. I wrinkled my nose. I didn't understand how Severus could love potions so much. They smelled awful a good portion of the time and could be difficult to make. But he was made to brew them. When I worked with him it seemed so effortless for him. That was how I thought we were. It seemed so effortless between us, but when you bring other people in to play it ruins everything. I shook myself. No. This wasn't the end end of us. We would find our way back to each other somehow. I started walking again, feeling a little more confident that Severus and I would be back together in a few days time. That was until I heard the conversation taking place around the corner from my Potions class.

"When you said you wanted to experiment with me it wasn't because I was a boy it was because I look like my brother." Regulus's voice drifted to my ears. I barely heard what was said next. The buzzing in my ears was too much to take. It was a hit to the gut.

"That may be a little true," Severus said. I put my hand over my mouth to keep from shouting. Severus kissed my brother? Because he looked like me? What was going on?


	10. Chapter 10

Hi *waves arms frantically* I'm still here. I'm so sorry its taken so long to update. My internet died for a while, but now it's back to life. Please forgive me.

Here's Chapter 10 and I hope you enjoy it. I love you guys so much! Thank you for reading and reviewing. You always give me inspiration. And to everyone who has added this story to favorite/alert lists. I would love to hear from you. Please Review.

This will be boyxboy if you don't like don't read.

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Harry Potter that would go to J.K. Rowling.

* * *

I pressed my back against the wall, hand pressed against my mouth. I wrapped my arm around my stomach, trying to quell the rampaging butterflies, fluttering in droves. I leaned my head against the cool stone, eyes squeezed closed. My breathing sped up along with my heart. Blood thundered in my ears. It was so much information to process. The world tilted on its axis before readjusting. Severus and Regulus. Regulus and Severus. I didn't understand. Severus kissed my brother? The whole idea seemed ludicrous. Not my Severus. Not the one who told me he had only ever kissed one person. This morning it didn't seem important who the other person was. Finding out it was my brother was a little strange. Scratch that, a lot strange. If it was anyone else it wouldn't matter. Probably. But it was my baby brother. My mind went numb when Severus and Regulus started talking again. Their voices penetrated the fog around my brain. I kept myself out of sight, not wanting either to see me.

"I told you upfront…" Severus began, but was interrupted by Regulus.

Regulus sounded exhausted even though it was the beginning of the day. "I know, I know. You said you wanted to know if you were gay or if it was just a certain person, but I never would have guessed that person was my brother."

"I didn't want to make it any weirder than it already was," Severus replied softly.

"I know. I wanted to make sure too. And you came around offering so I took it. But I didn't expect to actually start liking you."

"I know and I'm sorry about that. That's why I ended it."

"It's fine. We both went in with different reasons. I really liked you though. To find out Sirius is the one you were picturing when we were snogging is a little weird. Especially when you two were at each other's throats for so long then to discover you two are actually together is something else all together. Are you a couple?" Regulus asked, curiosity coating his voice.

"Not exactly." Severus sounded so down. I wanted to lift his spirits, but this new bit of information was a lot to take in. Who knew when I'd be able to move without falling down. My knees were so weak. The only thing keeping me up right was the wall. "Why? Is everyone upset?" I heard the quiver in Severus's voice. It really meant a lot to Severus what his friends thought.

Regulus chuckled. "You'd be surprised. Lucius thought it was hilarious."

"Hilarious?" Severus asked in a hollow voice.

I wanted to peek around the corner to make sure Severus was okay. I didn't dare. I knew I'd lose all my self control and rush to comfort him. Part of me wanted to leave and let them have some privacy. It was too hard to make my feet move. I had to know more.

"Yeah. He said whether or not you're serious or just messing with Sirius, he thinks it's great because you were able to bag the Gryffindor golden boy. And everyone else is following Lucius's line of thinking. But most really don't care."

"You have got to me kidding me. You mean I potentially messed things up with Sirius for a bunch of people that don't even give a damn."

"You what?" Regulus sounded angry for some reason. His voice always went up a few octaves when he was mad.

"Sirius and I are taking a break because I said I wanted us to lay low for a few days. I didn't know how people would react to us being together. He wouldn't' have it. Until I'm ready to stand by his side proudly, we will not be together."

"Severus, you're an idiot! Okay, Sirius and I may not get along like we used to, but he's still my brother. This whole situation is very odd and yes I may have liked you, but Sirius is a great person. For you to choose the opinions of others over him is a big mistake. Don't you dare tell him I said anything nice about him! He'll never let me live it down."

Something in my heart thawed for my brother. Regulus was there for me. I made a mental note to talk to Regulus more often. We chatted on occasion. Not like we used to. Time to change that.

I finally found the strength that deserted me. I pushed away from the wall, peaking around the corner to see Regulus standing close to Severus. If there was anyone who looked almost exactly like me it was Regulus. He was only a year younger than me, but he had a certain maturity that eluded me. He was smaller in stature. His hair was a little shorter and straighter, but we definitely looked alike. I wondered what possessed Severus to go to my brother. Of all the people in Hogwarts it had to be my brother that Severus kissed.

Regulus stepped closer to Severus, make the slightly taller male take a step back. "Despite all I said about Sirius I'm still a Slytherin and you two aren't together. I always get what I want. And I want you." Severus's mouth fell open as Regulus leaned in to kiss him. I turned away before I saw anything. I didn't want to be held accountable for hexing my own brother. The sneaky little snake. That seemed more like the brother I knew. He could be so sweet especially when he wanted something then bam he struck while your guard was down. I can't count how many toys and other bobbles he took from under my nose and now he wanted Severus. My skin burned the more I thought about. Jealously slipped along my veins, firing me up from the inside out. Jealousy was an awful feeling. This must've been what Severus felt every time James was around. It not like I could stop Severus. I had no say, or control over what or, who he did. Worry gnawed a huge hole in my stomach. Severus might choose Regulus over me. I'd do almost anything for my brother even when he's being selfish. I would never share Severus. He was mine.

I stomped over to the Potions classroom, not able to think clearly. I needed a clear mind before I made any move. And that meant taking a few days like Severus wanted. I still stood by not being together until Severus could accept people knowing we were a couple. That wouldn't change. Even if I had a plan of action it wouldn't work if Severus couldn't do that. I went to my shared spot with Severus as everyone started to take their seats. Anger boiled beneath the surface as Severus walked in lips red and a little puffy. Bee stung. Like he had been thoroughly kissed. I chanted in my head it was wrong to curse my brother. Leave it to Regulus to make things even more complicated. Severus slipped in the seat next to mine. He sat near me, shoulders brushing. The warmth from him sent a zing through me. It was hard to believe the night before Severus and I had sex and now we were practically strangers.

"Maybe it would be best for me to have another partner for a while," I said gathering my things.

Severus covered my hands with his. "Sirius, you better not move another inch. I may not get you anywhere else for a while, but I'm sure as hell not sharing you with anyone if I don't have to." The words made my prick twitch then wilt when I saw Severus's lips. My brother. Ugh, this sucked.

I yanked my hands away from Severus's. "You're just going to have to learn how to share then."

Severus's dark eyes narrowed, jaw clenched. "Never. Not when it comes to you. I will never share you with anyone." When Severus said things like that it made me like him all the more. But it also made me angry that he was already kissing somebody new. A reasonable part of my brain tried to tell me that it might not be what it seemed. I could be wrong. And I hoped I was. It was hard to think straight with all the emotions rampaging through me. At the forefront was jealousy. I've never been this jealous before. Not a pleasant feeling.

I wanted to tell Severus that the same went for him, but I couldn't bring myself to say those words. If it had been this morning before everything went to hell then I would've. Now it seemed premature to make such declarations when our entire future was up in the air.

"Do I have to share you with anyone?" I asked, as Professor Slughorn came in and wrote what we had to do on the board.

Severus peered at me sharply. "Why do ask?"

"Well you appeared intent on telling me who else caught your fancy before me." Did that sound jealous? It was hard to keep it contained. I tried for nonchalance and utterly failed. "Who was it if you don't mind me asking?"

Severus started setting up our area as the rest of the world fell away. The clatter of caldrons and chairs went unnoticed as Severus studied me. Him and his damn seductive eyes. They drew me every time. I ended up dropping on quill on the floor. I bent down to get it only to find Severus on his knees holding it out for me. "Is this what you're looking?" _You have no idea. _Severus on his knees in front me was about one of the sexiest things in the world. Lust nearly bowled me over when he licked his lips, staring up at me, mouth slightly parted. Gracefully he slithered to his full height, leaning closer to me, breath grazing my ear. "Come on Sirius I know you want me just as bad as I want you. I'm sure there are many more things that you need to show me. So much more." I nearly came in my trousers listening to his dark silky voice wrap me up in a cocoon of desire. Where had this Severus come from? Severus pressed my quill in my hand before pulling away, eyes darker than I have ever seen them. "Believe me when I say the other person does not have a hold on me. They were someone who helped me and I them but that's where it all started and ended."

"How do I know that they don't want you back?" Because I knew for sure that they did. Apparently blood didn't matter when it came to getting what Regulus wanted. Not that knowing my brother wanted Severus would stop me either.

Severus stayed quiet for a moment too long. My insides tightened up, all manner of lust dissolving as cold reality sunk in. "Maybe we should just get back to work."

"No. Let's say they did want me but I don't want them. I can't believe I'm about to say this, you're the only one."

"Doesn't matter. Not when we can't even be seen together as a couple." It stung to say those words. My heart clenched at the hurt expression that crossed Severus's face before morphing into a cold indifference.

"Fine. I admit I made an arse of myself earlier, okay? I can say it. I was wrong and I'd like to give it a shot."

I immediately wanted to give in. I held back. "I think you might be right about taking a few days to ourselves."

"Are you serious?"

I looked Severus in the eye, not wanting to do this, but unable to think of anything else until I worked through my issues of Regulus and him being together. "Yes."

Severus held his arms up in defeat. "If you're sure. I can't stop you, but know if I see Potter sniffing around he's going to lose his manhood." I laughed softly. Severus was too much sometimes.

"I'll make sure to warn him." Severus turned his back to me. I laid my hand on his shoulder, turning him to face me. "Hey it's not going to be forever. It just gives us a chance to think things through and make sure we know what we want. There are something's I need to work through." I wanted to tell Severus I knew more or less everything. I wanted to give him the chance to tell me. Hopefully he would. "I might have to tie you to the bed and have my way wicked way with you in a few days. Just to warn you." Severus shivered. Interesting reaction to the tied to the bed comment. I'd have to test that out sometime soon.

"Let's get to work then." Severus became all business. Potions flew by with me barely paying attention to my surroundings. I wonder if taking a few days was a good idea. Who knows what Regulus might try to do to get Severus. I trusted Severus. Not my brother. He could be a sneaky little thing. I had to have the debacle cleared up. And I knew just the person to ask. I said a quick goodbye to Severus as Potions ended and went after a certain red head whom might possess the answers I wanted.

"Hey, Lily do you have a moment to spare at lunch?"I asked, falling in step with her.

"Sure I do. What's on your mind?"

"Severus." Lily smiled at my answer. "And my brother." Her smile fell away, leaving her with a creased brow.

"Got it. Meet me by the Quidditch pitch and we'll go from there."

"Thank you."

"You might not like what you hear."

"I already don't like it."

"If you're sure, but Severus might be a better person to ask."

"I gave him the opportunity to tell me, but he didn't take it," I said feeling frustrated. "Why, Regulus?"

"It all started in fifth year when I found out Severus was in love with you." Lily was cut off when we reached our next class. "I'll continue the story at lunch." She took a spot in the front of the class and I went to sit next to Remus, stunned silent. Severus has loved me since when?


End file.
